Harry Potter Nonsense

What Hogwarts House do you belong to?

You are cunning and will achieve many things. You are Slytherin!
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What is the core of your wand?

You have a dragon's heart string as your wand's core.
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The Harry Potter Personality Quiz

You're Fred or George Weasley! (I'm not sure which!)You're energetic and always on-the-go. If there's mischief to be found, you'll find it. You have a knack for making others laugh, whether by playing tricks on them, telling them jokes or just being goofy. You like friends who appriciate your humour. I solemnly swear I am up to no good!
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...and which lesser Harry Potter character are you?

Currently Watching Hannibal (Two-Disc Special Edition) By David Andrews, Frankie R. Faison, Hazelle Goodman, Zeljko Ivanek, Ray Liotta see related

Twelve Things I Learned Working in the Fast Food Industry

(This is written entirely tongue-in-cheek. Of course, it's all true, but I rather enjoy the teasing that my co-workers subject me to-- and I pick on them plenty, as well-- so I'm not complaining)

Twelve Things I Learned Working in the Fast Food Industry

12: Working a six-hour shift when your brothers are at home playing Guitar Hero is not fun.

11: The store-room has cockroaches.

10: The fry-scooper discriminates against left-handed people.

9: The milkshake machine hates everybody. The lemonade machine is its apprentice.

8: Losing the gullibility is a good idea, as people cheerfully lie to you and then inform you that they were just teasing.

7: If you move fast and steer around people in your way instead of dragging your feet and waiting for them to move, you get nicknamed 'The Tank'.

6: People you identify and can talk with working with you can be the difference between a good shift and a bad, boring, rip-your-eyes-out-rather-than-stay-here shift.

5: Apparently, mimicking unwitting people with strong accents at the drive-through is perfectly normal.

4: It's fun to make the person on headset laugh when they're trying to talk to a customer.

3: Keep your hands busy, even when there's really nothing to do. Otherwise, your bosses will be mad at you for not working.

2: If you check the parking lot alone at night, you'll probably get raped, so it's a good idea to take a 6'4 guy with you.

Currently Watching Green Street Hooligans By David Alexander (XVI), Oliver Allison, James Allison, Joel Beckett, Geoff Bell see related

The Quotes Entry

Okay. This is sort of an interlude between super-long me-posts and nonsensical rants about things that bother me. My family’s an interesting one, right? At least in my own estimation. Anyway, because we are who we are, sometimes we say things that are, quite frankly, funny. About a year ago, I started writing the best of them down. So, for you, I’ve put them down, taken out the inside jokes and things that only I find funny, and slapped them up.

Brief introductions:

Jonathan – my [currently] fifteen-year-old brother, probably the most popular among my “quotes page” because he can really be funny when he’s not trying to.

Robert – my nineteen-year-old brother. Doesn’t often say things that are really hilarious, but when he does, they really are funny.

Nathan – Twenty-three year old brother. Usually violent and very funny.

Lane: Twenty-five year-old brother. The most sarcastic person I’ve ever met, and also one of the funniest.

Dad – Well… my dad. Simple enough. Same with Mom.

Kimi: A good friend of mine from Alabama.

Christina – a friend from Florida, fourteen, sometimes puts common sense on hold with very funny results for the rest of us.

Caroline – a friend from Meridian, a little older than me without a huge degree of common sense.

Random online users – Sometimes people I come across online have funny things to say. So I put them here.

Others: Just random people or friends—I’m too lazy to list everyone here.

Right, that’s enough. Let’s get to the quotes.

Quite possibly the stupidest thing I’ve ever said: “I don’t think they’d put it on TV if it wasn’t possible.”

Nathan: Look how almost dead you are.

Atreyuguy19 (on IMDB): Concerning the original poster's grammar and spelling only, I have to agree. You're 16? If that is true I absolutely fear for future. Your posts have all the coherency of a mildly retarded dolphin.

Jonathan goes off on a tangent: (Discussing Jin and Sun’s sweat—don’t ask) I bet they’d smell like flowers, because they’re perfect. I love Koreans. They’re so beautiful… men and women. They have, like, the perfect face.

Me: I know, you hate me. You love me, too.
Christina: It’s a two-for-one special.

Christina: My wedding theme is going to be white. Everything will be white. Except some of the people, but I can paint them.

Jon: (Watching me play a game) …and that’s how Donkey Kong died.

Phuriedae (a reviewer of one of my stories): I want to take Lauren home and feed her cookies.

Jon: Every now and again, I notice hot girls around my age looking at me, and I’m like, “She’s totally diggin’ my body.” And then I notice there’s a TV behind me, and I’m like, “Dang.”

Robert: (As Matthew McConaghey) Can I take my shirt off yet? Oh, good. That thing was itchiiiiin’….

Me: She didn’t call back because I was on the phone for the past half-hour.
Dad: Oh… tell Christina I said hello.

Jonathan: I can just see myself getting raped to this music.

Me: (On seeing the name of that annoying Oxi-Clean guy) Ah. Now I know his name. So I can track him down and shoot him.

Kimi: Movies about genocide freak me out.

Jonathan (ate age fourteen): Where’s the beer, Mom?

Nathan: (After finding out I got in a car accident) You’re an idiot.
Me: Hey! Do I need to bring up the time you rammed into the back of someone?
Nathan: Yeah… but I had a jizzob.

Jonathan: That’s what fat is called: tubbis.

Jonathan: (On Juliet) She’s just got that look on her face. That liar look.

Jonathan: It wouldn’t be racist, it would just be true!

Jonathan: I bet he would have big hands.
Both Of Us: (In unison) And you know what they say about a man with big hands!

Jonathan: (About trying my black nail polish) Can I get it off by tonight?
Me: It’s called nail polish remover.
Jonathan: Does it work?
Me: …it’s how I get my nail polish off.

Jonathan: (That same night) Wow, I’m such a good fingernail painter!

Jonathan: (Same night) Can you get high off of nail polish remover?
Me: Yes. Jonathan, put that bottle down!

Jonathan: Your eyes look… just… black to me… sometimes.

Jonathan: (After I threw a plastic razor at him, wailing) You cut me! You cut me bad!

Jonathan: I swear I just peed a little bit of my brain out!

Me: You’ll never be the King of Darkness, though. You’ll always be the prince. Enjoy it.
Jon: I wanna—
Me: I could make you the Duke of Doom.
Jon: –be like—
Me: Or the Earl of Evil! (Cackles)

Nathan: (At church) Don’t make me hit you. I’ll do it right here—right in front of Jesus.

Dad: (Singing after killing a fly) You’re dead!
You is dead!
You is dead!

Lady on the Commercial: Smoking is bad for children. All children. Including the one you’re pregnant with right now.
Robert: ( Feeling his stomach) HOLY CRAP! I’m pregnant?!

Jonathan: And then I find blood on the wall… like, after I finish blacking out, and…
Me: (Laughs hysterically)

Me: If you’re not back in ten seconds, we’re not watching the movie.
Jonathan: Okay! (Dashes out of sight around the corner. A crashing noise ensues) Ow… make that thirty!

Me: Next time, come upstairs and knock on my door. Don’t scream like a banshee and bang on the wall.

Me: (After something clogged up my windpipe in the middle of a rant, choking) God decided to shut me up.

Professor Ginn: What the crap does that mean?

(Discussing World Domination)
Jon: My friend and I probably will just destroy the world.
Me: Why on earth would anyone want to destroy the world?
Jon: I don’t know… just to be the first to do it.
Me: I think God may beat you on that one.

Jonathan: I’m so depressed, I could eat a buttload of ice cream.

Nicole: I go to the beat of my own drummer. And when the drum doesn’t work, I… throw it at somebody.

Professor Ginn: All right, I’ll show you how to permanently fix a computer, Ginn-style. (Unplugs the computer)

Caroline, referring to Adhemar on A Knight’s Tale: The bad guy who had the thing in his thing?

Me: (After Dad got an MRI) They gave you an ID bracelet.
Dad: Yup. (Long pause) In case they mixed me up and Mom brought the wrong man home.
Me: (Laughs hysterically)

Jonathan: Robert’s taking a slam.
Me: What’s a slam?
Jonathan: (Starts laughing)
Me: What? Hey! Ewww!

Me (to Christina): If I found you with cat porn, I’d totally arrest you.

Jon: You run so sloppily… and then you took out two chairs! (After chasing me around the house—I slipped on a piece of paper and power-slid underneath the table. It didn’t hurt at all, surprisingly)

Me: All right, it’s time to go.
Jon: Okay, just let me kill Sean Bean.
Me: Uh! I should kick you out on principle for that.
Jon: He was taunting me.
Me: (Snorts) You should let him go and be grateful that he taunted you. He’s the master of taunting. You should feel privileged to be taunted by Sean Bean.
Jon: Uh-oh.
Me: What now?
Jon: I messed up. I was supposed to push him off this cliff and I missed.

Christina: If they gave us cheese for every time we learned something, I’d have two pieces of cheese.

Jon: What is that, like an ice cream cone?
Me: No, it’s a hill.
Jon: That’s a messed up hill.
Me: You’re a messed up hill!

Jonathan: Inventors of… what did the Spaniards invent?
Me: Chocolate.
Jonathan: Really?
Me: Yes.
Jonathan: I love the Spaniards.

Jonathan: It’s, like, addicting.
Me: Addictive.
Jonathan: Addictive. Whatever. Screw you.

Christina: Sara, when I ask a stupid question like that, you’re supposed to say “Because they can.”
Me: I did say that.
Christina: You said it in a lot of words. Me don’t understand big words.
Me: Do you understand the Flintstones?
Christina: What?
Me: I can’t stand the Flintstones.

Jonathan: Sara… what do you think blood tastes like to vampires?
Me: Oh, man. You don’t even want to ask me that. All right—imagine the best wine you’ve ever tasted. Now, magnify that by a hundred—cause that’s their sole source of nutrition.
Mom: Sara, that’s awful!
Me: What?!

Me: I’m giving my brain a day off.

Lane: Don’t touch my underwear!
Me: …why would I want to touch your underwear?
Lane: …hands off the undies.

Me: (Yelling at the movie Children of the Corn) Come on, Malachai! Don’t send your posse after him, do it yourself! If you want something done right, do it yourself! You can take him!
Jonathan: (Very quietly) Sara? I don’t think he can hear you.

Jonathan: (As Lionel Luthor) Don’t make me lose my temper. I will smash this teacup to bits.

(After a hummingbird had been stuck in our garage for a day or two)
Mom: I’ve got the hummingbird in a towel!
Jon: What are we gonna do with it?
Me: (Shouting downstairs) EAT IT!

Jon: Have you murdered in thought?
Me: No.
Jon: You haven’t?! Dude… I have a problem.

Christina: (On Hitler) He’s a mean old pooh-pooh head.

Me: (Playing MASH with Jonathan) You made me marry LIONEL LUTHOR?!

Robert: I’m more of a Christian Bale man myself. (I still cannot believe he said this!)

Me: (Advising Lane) If you want a sweet cat, get an un-neutered guy cat.
Lane: Are you serious? Those are the meanest cats around!
Me: Nuh-uh! Look at Socks, he was a sweetie!
Lane: That’s because he was going out and getting some every night!
Me: (Laughs)

Professor Jack: I don’t think I’m Jabba the Hutt.

Professor Keene: Something has happened to my cheese.

Nathan: I see London, I see France…
Daniel: I see Robert’s nipples! (Cracks up)

(Robert looking expectantly at me after he remarks that Catherine Zeta-Jones is hot, as if expecting me to object)
Me: (Shrugs) I have no problem with that. I think she’s beautiful.
Nathan: …Well, that was a lesbian remark.

Professor Keene: For example, how many of you would answer truthfully if I asked if you’ve ever smoked marijuana? Not that I would, because I love my job.

Caroline: (On seeing Bors and Vanora kissing on King Arthur) Wow, the way they’re going at it, no wonder they have eleven kids!

Christina: One, two, three!
Me: What are you doing now?
Christina: Counting.

Professor Keene: Now I’m going to have to start being more covert, because you guys obviously have me figured out.

Christina: Oh, my hair’s extra… perfect today!

Christina: And the chances of that are one in… a miracle?

Professor Keene: “See, I didn’t know that the outlet was what you wanted me to touch- and know I’m kind of wondering why you guys wanted me to touch the electrical outlet…”

Me: (To Nathan) You know what your name would be in Spanish?
Nathan: I know what yours would be: El Farto.

Christina: Ooh, I’m gonna read the wall!

Christina: Jesse McCartney is Paul McCartney’s son.
Me: No, he isn’t!
Christina: Yes, he is!
Me: No, he’s not! Paul McCartney would have had to have him at like, age forty-five.
Christina: That’s possible!
Me: Possible, but not probable.
Christina: Jesse McCartney’s mother is Ginger McCartney.
Me: Aha! Paul was married to Linda McCartney! Paul is not Jesse’s dad!
Christina: Oh. Well why didn’t you just say so?

Christina: We’re supposed to get a prize… he better give me a gift basket, I’m hungry.

Professor Keene: They actually say that brainfreeze is triggered by the roof of your mouth, so they suggest eating ice cream without letting it touch the roof of your mouth- let me know how successful you are with that.

Jonathan: And he took her away and they lived happily ever after… in a bush.

Jon: Sonny’s voice is so good! It’s like wheels on a wand.
Me: …what?
Jon: See, that’s how good he is, because you don’t understand it!

Jon: Gerard Butler’s so awesome! He can sing, he can fight—what can’t he do?!

Christina: Don’t look at me in that tone of voice!

Me: Don’t call her short; only I’m allowed to do that! (In reference to friend Meghan)

Jon: Voltaire! Yay, kids, it’s Voltaire!

Jon: Chocolate + Jonathan = Happy!

Jon: Hey, it’s not any sicker than Little Women. Or your obsession with David Bowie… Uncle Bowie.

(Me) EccentricBanshee: Jon says "Sweet. Are they brand new and awesome?"
(Alex) Baku354: Yes.
Baku354: They were covered in green sliem at first.
EccentricBanshee: Oooo... like the Matrix pod slime?
EccentricBanshee: Or the Alien slime?
Baku354: Piccolo slime.
EccentricBanshee: Piccolo? Like that tiny little pipe?
Baku354: No. Dragonbal Z.
EccentricBanshee: ...they named slime after a tiny little pipe?
Baku354: No!
EccentricBanshee: (Lifts eyebrow)
Baku354: On Dragonball Z, one of the characters can sue his own pwoer to grow bakc his limbs.
EccentricBanshee: And his name is Piccolo?
Baku354: Yeah.
EccentricBanshee: ...so they named a CHARACTER after a tiny little pipe!
EccentricBanshee: That makes sense.
Baku354: No...
Baku354: Japenese.
EccentricBanshee: Hey, it's all English to me.
EccentricBanshee: Except for when it's Spanish.
Baku354:  O_o

Baku354: "Women get too much advice from other women about men...
Baku354: when those women don't know what they're talking about."
EccentricBanshee: Well, the thing is that women study men.
EccentricBanshee: We care a lot about understanding you guys.
Baku354: We gave up around...Eve...
EccentricBanshee: (dies laughing)

Currently Watching House, M.D. - Season One By House see related

Actors, Part One

Right, I think it’s time to address a favorite subject of mine—actors. This will be a two-part post, one to address the men and another for the ladies.

As most of you know, I love movies. Movies are a wonderful art medium, in my opinion, and a compelling way to tell stories. It helps when the story is worth telling, of course. Another thing that aids movies is having a good cast and strong actors.

For me to like an actor, he has to live like a person, not a celebrity. He has to be a good person and humble (which is one of the reasons that Colin Farrell will never make it onto my list). He has to choose his films wisely. The actors below are my all-time favorites. I respect these men as good people. These are the actors I trust—if they’re in a movie, then I can be assured that it’s a good one. Below will be pictures, their ages, my favorite movie of theirs, my favorite character they’ve played, why I like them, and possibly more if there’s more to say. Without further ado, I unveil my favorites.

Ben Foster

Age: 26

Nationality: American

Best movie: I have to say Bang Bang You’re Dead. That movie was simply powerful, and every time I watch it (not often; it’s too potent) I cry for at least a half-hour afterwards. He’s done a good number of other movies, though, truly original movies. Liberty Heights was good, and Alpha Dog was jarring but effective.

Best character: Mars Krupcheck from Hostage. He was a psychopathic killer (that’s not why I like him!) whose eyes told a story. I know that sounds corny, but that’s the only way I can really describe it…

Why I like him: Ben is so, so dedicated to his job. It’s spoiled me for other actors, I think, because he puts so much work into it and just totally immerses himself in the character. He takes it very seriously. He doesn’t act like a celebrity, he avoids attention, and he’s there for the work, which he loves. When asked what he’d be if he wasn’t an actor, he answered, “An unemployed actor.” He’s my favorite of all time for this reason, and I think that eventually, he’ll get major recognition. He’s also remarkably versatile. His range is tremendous; he never plays the same character twice, and his looks in his movie reflect this—he almost always looks different in every movie. He’s been compared to Edward Norton, Gary Oldman, Ryan Gosling—all great character actors, and I think he deserves the association.

Other: For Alpha Dog, where he played a character who was addicted to crystal meth, he had an ex-meth addict friend of his introduce him to a group of other addicts. After they put him through some tests to make sure he was an actor and not a narc, they let him stay with them for a while, and he studied them. He said he was up for four days running one day, just sitting in the corner, watching them and drinking coffee like crazy while they smoked, snorted, and did their thing. That’s how he works. He becomes the character and it shows.

Charlie Hunnam

Age: 27

Nationality: British (England)

Best movie: Nicholas Nickleby. That movie was just an all-around blend of good. Good characters, good story, good humor—I know it’s not a remarkably accurate depiction of Dickens’ original work, but for a two-hour movie, I thought it was impressive and I thought Charlie did an excellent job. He was a sweet fellow in that movie.

Best character: Embry Larkin from Abandon. Bosie from Cold Mountain is close, but Embry was just a perfect mixture of arrogance, intelligence, scorn, and a hint of self-loathing. Plus, something about Embry spoke of hidden danger. He was completely intriguing and one of my favorite characters to date.

Why I like him: Something about Charlie is infectious. He’s just appealing, for a reason I can’t fully explain. Maybe it’s that he smiles really big in his pictures. He plays a mean psychopath (Bosie from Cold Mountain, Patric from Children of Men) and an equally effective good guy (Nicholas Nickleby—such an admirable character!), and he can also find the middle ground, play the anti-hero (Embry Larkin, though I’m not sure I’d call Embry an anti-hero). Not everyone can do that. He’s avoided typecasting pretty well and, above all, he can act. He also has a very good American accent, which always impresses me with British actors.

Other: I quote the director of Abandon: "Charlie Hunnam was a rascal. I'm going on record right now and saying that Charlie Hunnam was a rascal."
Jamie Bell, his co-star in Nicholas Nickleby, says that Charlie was eager to bond with him, as they were best friends in the movie, and describes a "bonding game" Charlie came up with, where they'd try to hit each other in the thighs as often as possible, and if one succeeded then he got a free hit. Jamie says that since Charlie was so tall and had long arms, he was very good at it. In Jamie's words, "This is his idea of bonding?! And apparently, he's popular with the ladies-- I've no idea why!"

Gary Oldman

Age: 49

Nationality: British (England)

Best movie: It’s a tough call, but probably Batman Begins. The movie was excellent, my favorite superhero movie of all time, and his part wasn’t big but it was integral.

Best character: Dracula. He plays an awesome, eerie Dracula, and I’ve always loved Dracula anyway.

Why I like him: He’s a purely amazing character actor… plus there’s the fact that I’ve always simply like the man, for no reason I can fathom! My first exposure to him was as Zorg in The Fifth Element, and though Zorg was a bad guy, I still liked him! And so it went in all his movies… he’s very often a psychopath, yet he looks so friendly that he’s irresistible. I think he’d be an awesome uncle. He’s likely the best actor of his generation, truly, and it’s not just me saying that.

Other: A few good quotes:

“I had this idea of myself as a shy, kind, sweet chap. I was working with Winona Ryder and she turned to me and said, "[. . .] you're really intense!" I was so shocked, I went, "What do you mean? I'm not intense, I'm sweet!" My passion and energy get mistaken for anger.
“I don't think Hollywood knows what to do with me. I would imagine that when it comes to romantic comedies, my name would be pretty low down on the list.”

Sir Anthony Hopkins

Age: 69

Nationality: Welsh

Best movie: Hannibal. Silence of the Lambs was excellent, of course, but he was in Hannibal more and there was more of an exploration into how he related to other people. I liked the ending, as well. Very good.

Best character: Dr. Hannibal Lecter, obviously. I’m going to go on record here and say that Dr. Lecter is the best villain in the history of film. Smart, eerie, completely insane, yet strangely sympathetic… all the elements are there. Don’t think that I’m condoning murder and/or cannibalism, though! I know how evil it is. I’m just saying if you’re going to be a villain… go the Hannibal route.

Why I like him: Because he seems like the kind of fellow that would be a great granddad! No, really, the first time I saw him was in The Mask of Zorro, where he played a mentor-guru type that seemed like a really cool person to hang out with, so not only was I saved from ever being afraid of the man (as most people are because they saw Silence of the Lambs first) but I developed an undying admiration for him. I love this man.

Other: According to Ryan Gosling, he’s never still. He’s always drawing, writing, composing, doing something. He memorizes a poem a week to keep his memory intact. He plays the piano. I think that’s extremely marvelous in today’s “classical education doesn’t matter” world.

Sean Bean

Age: 48

Nationality: English (side note: he’s from Sheffield, and his accent is the most beautiful accent I’ve ever heard. It even overtakes Scotland!)

Best movie: The Lord of the Rings films, obviously. Boromir has pretty much always been my favorite character in the trilogy—he seems more sympathetic than the rest of them. Legolas and Aragorn don’t need your sympathy; Frodo’s off in his own world… you get the picture. But Boromir—Boromir is the perfect reminder that we’re all human, and we’re all prone to failure. His role is a hopeful one, though, as it also speaks of redemption. For me, that’s an extremely powerful message. I’m a big believer in redemption. Anyway—the movies were beautiful and well-done, and a decent adaptation of the books—there were flaws, of course, but it was still a remarkable project.

Best character: It’s tough… but I’m going to say Ian Howe (from National Treasure) so that Tabitha doesn’t kill me. Tabitha and I have talked about this fellow often, and we’ve pointed out that, for a bad guy, he’s sympathetic enough for even her to like him! (Tabitha is a pretty strict good-guy-only person) He values human life, he treats his minions well, and his motive isn’t all that despicable. He’s clever as well as capable of human flaws. There’s not much you can’t like about Ian… except the fact that he’s a bad guy.

Why I like him: Sean is the quintessential bad guy. Seriously, most of his roles have been villains—I think he’s died onscreen more than any other actor on my list. Now, the fact that he plays an awesome bad guy in part explains my liking for him—y’all know how much I like my bad guys—but in my opinion, he plays an overwhelming good guy as well. He’s especially good at the conflicted good guy. He has an infectious smile and an overall genial nature, so it makes you feel less guilty rooting for him when he’s good. I’m rambling now. Close out.

Other: I think this is funny—the man’s apparently obsessed with football (soccer, for us Americans), backing Sheffield United. You don’t often hear about actors who love sports, and it’s a big guy thing, so I found that amusing.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt

Age: 26

Nationality: American

Best movie: Brick. The movie was a little bit rough, as it dealt with heavy subject matter—teenagers involved in the drug industry—but it was truly a work of art, in my opinion. The words in the film are beautiful—teenagers don’t really talk like that, but the dialogue flowed; they had their own language and it was so pleasant to hear after all this dumbed-down generic language in most modern films. It was classic film noir put into modern form, and it was well-done and very smart.

Best character: Brendan Frye from Brick. He was extremely smart and observant, he acted like a man despite his young age, he never let girls get the best of him, and he was just all-around a good character—the kind of guy I’d trust with my life.

Why I like him: Joe is a person. Joe’s down-to-earth, he talks to his fans as though he’s known them all his life. I know this because Joe runs a website—HitRECord.org. HitRECord has a forum, on which he mingles among the fans and talks to them, encouraging them to “make a record”—in other words, write a story, make a film, write a song, take a picture, or the like. He comments on people’s work and just talks to us. I’ve talked to him a few times, and he’s a really likeable guy who’s made this community where artists come, and it just feels like everybody is friends with everybody. He hates the idea of celebrity. He’s also very loving—he takes care of people and he’s careful not to be abrasive. Add this to the fact that he’s a very good, very smart actor, and you’ve got one awesome guy on your hands.

Other: Joe is also an amateur filmmaker, and his short films are works of art. My favorite is Mahala, but his others are just as creative and well-done. I can see a future in directing for him. Also, his brother Dan—who also browses the HitRECord forums—is a photographer, and a very good one. They’re a creative family.

Cillian Murphy

Age: 31

Nationality: Irish

Best movie: 28 Days Later. I am not a zombie movie fan. I hate them, as a matter of fact. But lo and behold! Someone tackled the zombie genre and actually turned it smart! And his character, Jim, was a wonderful hero. When he was needed, he lived up to expectations and protected those who couldn’t help themselves. I won’t say more, or I’ll start spoiling, but I really liked this movie and thought it was very intelligent.

Best character: Jackson Rippner from Red Eye. There was so much to this character! He was able to switch instantly from genial, warm-hearted stranger to cold, ruthless assassin (manager is a better word for it)… he was mocking, misogynistic, arrogant, but despite these detestable traits, he also managed to earn himself some sympathy. There were moments when you believed he was a reluctant accessory, moments when he seemed very close to calling the whole thing off (though those moments passed soon enough), moments when he seemed almost affectionate towards the woman he was supposed to be terrorizing. He was a multi-layered character, and very fascinating.

Why I like him: Well… I can’t really answer that. I guess it’s that he picks really good roles, and he’s very, very good at carrying them out. He’s also versatile, going from psycho Irish bad guy to sympathetic ambiguous character to hero amidst chaos to calm but mildly insane bad guy. Plus, he’s Irish. That always helps.

Other: He proposed to his wife while they were hill-walking in Ireland. That’s what I call romantic.

Paul Bettany

Age: 36

Nationality: English

Best movie: A Beautiful Mind. I’m not sure why that movie’s so good—there’s just something appealing about the characters, and the story is fascinating as well. As for Paul’s role, his character provides a light laziness, without which the movie might get too tense and serious.

Best role: Hands down, it’s Geoffrey Chaucer in A Knight’s Tale. I like that movie—it’s not going to win any Oscars, but the characters are bright and the story is interesting. Chaucer, however, brings it to new levels. The passion and humor Bettany brings to the role immortalizes him—you can just tell he’s having fun, and it’s catching. It’s the best performance in the movie. I doubt there will ever be a better Chaucer.

Why I like him: Because he’s fun! Really, Paul seems to have a really good time doing what he does, and he’s good at it. When he’s on screen, you just sense that things are about to get fun—even when he’s playing a bad guy. Usually, his bad guys are intelligent and interesting to follow—it’d be interesting to see him explore that facet of his acting, but as it is, I’m content with his more benign roles.

Other: He’s married to Jennifer Connelly! I didn’t know that till… maybe a few months ago? Also, word is that when they were out one night, a guy started talking very inappropriately to Jennifer… so Paul hauled him out and laid a few punches on him. A man defending his wife’s honor—that’s sweet. Probably not the best approach ever, but still something most women could appreciate.

You know… I think that’s it! So thank you for sitting with me through this fest of amazing actors… it was pretty much a showcase, but it was fun to think about why I liked them, exactly, and what their best movies/roles were. I’ll probably do another post on actresses, but it probably won’t be for a while—I get the feeling I should space these out. Till next time!

Currently Reading How to Be a Villain: Evil Laughs, Secret Lairs, Master Plans, and More!!! By Neil Zawacki see related

Of Jokers and Such

Now, see that? That's cool. By now, I'm convinced that Ledger is the right man for the job. I also think Nolan is trying a different tack to set this new Joker apart from the old one, portrayed extremely well by Jack Nicholson:

Old Jack did a very good job-- but then again, I wasn't particularly afraid of him. I actually kind of liked him. Maybe Ledger will make me hate him (doubtful, cause I like bad guys). We'll see.

And, just for the heck of it, here's a picture that was released about a year ago, fanart basically. People thought it was the real thing:

It's actually pretty cool. All right, that's me out. Hope you enjoyed the ranting.